This feast of the Holy Family that we celebrate today is here, they tell us, so that we can consider how our lives as families can be inspired by the Holy Family. As we all know, this is an intimidating prospect. I was struck on Christmas Eve, when we were singing that old favorite, “Away in a Manger,” by the line in one verse referring to the baby Jesus that says “no crying he makes.” Now this is a pretty high standard for babies, at least in this parish, perhaps as much of a miracle as anything else that happens in the Christmas story, and sometimes we’re tempted to apply that same standard to the parents in the Holy Family as well. Our temptation is to read into their lives some idealized notion of what family relationships would be if only everyone did what they were really supposed to, if only everyone were perfect. And since we know we’re not going to be perfect, we assume that the Holy Family has very little to do with us.
The fact is, when we think of what makes a family holy, we’re all tempted to focus on how they behaved with one another, how they related internally. What’s important to remember today is that the gospels tell us very little about how Jesus, and Mary, and Joseph acted with one another. What it tells us about is not their relationships, but their mission.
The story that we hear in today’s gospel is the familiar one of the flight into Egypt, where Joseph, in a dream, recognizes that he has to take his new family to someplace where they can be safe from Herod. This instinct to seek safety from enemies is something we can all identify with when we think about our own families. But in another sense, the trip is all part of a long tradition in which Joseph knows his family has to play its role. Joseph is, we’re reminded again and again, especially in Matthew’s gospel that we’ll be reading all this coming year, Joseph is a descendant of David, our David, Israel’s great king, and by leaving everything and going to Egypt as an exile and then returning again, he is reliving the whole Exodus of the Jews in Egypt, protecting Jesus from Herod in the same way Moses needed to be protected from the Pharaoh.
This trip was necessary not only for their safety, but also because the whole purpose of their family was to be a sign of God’s activity in the world. Their safety and their welfare was secondary to their willingness to be people who played their role in this plan of salvation. If Joseph’s dream had sent them into danger, instead of into safety, their response would have been just as immediate.
And Jesus too, in his later life, reminds us of the same thing: that it is God’s message to us, as families and as individuals, to follow Jesus that is our priority in life, and that if we need to leave our family behind, or maybe our mistaken idea of family responsibilities or family success or family safety behind, in order to do what we are called to do, we need to do it. Often people seem to identify the whole concept of “family values” with seeking stability. What’s most remarkable about the Holy Family is perhaps how much change they went through, how many dreams and visions they had to accept and respond to: Mary accepting the life-changing vision of the angel, telling her that she would be with child, Joseph, having his understanding of his marriage turned upside down in still another dream, and the constant motion and travel in today’s gospel — these are what the gospel tells us is characteristic of what God asks families to do.
So today is not a day to sentimentalize the Holy Family, or even, necessarily, a day for greater-than-usual obedience. If the Holy Family is a model for us, it is not because of their perfection as people or child-raisers. In that department, we can all find our own formula. But this feast of the Holy Family does tell us that even people with families to worry about are singled out for a mission, as people who pass on a tradition, or establish one, as people called to discern dreams and make changes and follow God’s commitments no matter where it takes you. The voice may come, as it did in today’s Gospel, in a dream. Following a dream like that and passing it on to the people around you makes any family a holy one.